Embracing Change: A Constant in Life
In a single, life-altering sentence, everything I thought I was crumbled: “You’re unfit for duty.”
After dedicating many years to the Army—filled with structure, purpose, and pride—I faced an unexpected discharge. It wasn’t due to failure, but rather my body changing in ways beyond my control. I had no choice but to leave.
At that moment, it wasn’t just a job I was losing; it was my identity. Even more daunting was the lack of a plan for my future. I had no idea who I would become next.
The Pain of Letting Go
Letting go of the very essence that defined me was excruciating. However, my experiences prepared me for this moment. I understood that change was inevitable, a lesson many resist throughout their lives. As I learned in Buddhist philosophy, everything is impermanent, and nothing is ours forever.
This principle, known as anicca, teaches us to accept the transience of life. Alongside it is dukkha, the suffering we endure when we cling to what is slipping away.
Despite the shock and pain, I didn’t shatter. My past experiences of letting go equipped me with the resilience to move forward once again.
Yearning for More
At seventeen, I stood at another crossroads. Growing up with limited resources and no clear direction, I lacked faith in my abilities to contribute meaningfully to the world.
But I craved more. I didn’t yet know what more looked like; I just felt an urgent need to rise above my circumstances. So, like many in search of purpose, I enlisted in the military.
Little did I know, this decision would provide not only financial stability and structure but also a profound sense of purpose. It became my first lesson in the art of transformation.
Growth is Essential
During my time in the Army, I gained something more valuable than skills or stability: countless opportunities to shed old identities and embrace new ones.
However, growth wasn’t optional. In the military, stagnation could mean discharge. The promotion system operates on an “up or out” basis. From my initial rank as a Private, I needed to rise through five promotions to secure a lasting career.
Each promotion introduced new challenges, with the most significant being the shift from being led to leading. That transformation shaped my future.
Embracing Change
Then came the sudden job changes.
Alongside the pressure to ascend the ranks and lead effectively, I faced the reality that even technical skills could disappear overnight. Initially trained in tactical communication systems, I had to adapt as they became obsolete. So, I retrained.
I transitioned to a computer systems technician, quickly mastering the role, only for the technology to evolve once again.
Then I retrained as a software developer, which felt like the perfect fit—challenging and fulfilling.
But then came the diagnosis that changed everything.
From Identity Crisis to Renewal
A medical condition meant I could no longer serve, marking the end of my career—not due to failure, but simply because life happens.
Yet, I had learned how to manage change time and time again. This time, I was ready to start anew.
Reflecting on my journey, I recognized that beyond skills, I had gained resilience, leadership, trust, adaptability, and a calm demeanor under pressure. These weren’t just military traits; they were human strengths—transferable skills.
Rebuilding My Life
Armed with these tools, I entered the civilian world. I intentionally rebuilt my life using the same mindset, discipline, and curiosity, now paired with greater self-awareness.
Remarkably, I began to thrive in unexpected ways. My second career accelerated faster than anticipated, but more importantly, I realized that change was not just something I endured; it had become my way of life.
Change as a Spiritual Practice
Looking back over 24 roles and 22 homes, I see that every version of myself required letting go.
Each time I released what no longer served me, I created space for something new.
Letting go was not about loss; it was about liberation.
Lessons Learned
- Stay Adaptable. Stability can shift unexpectedly. Change is not a disruption; it’s life unfolding in real time.
- Letting Go Equals Freedom. Holding onto the past traps us. Releasing it opens the door to new opportunities.
- Embrace Continuous Growth. Change isn’t a one-time event; it’s a journey we navigate repeatedly, learning trust with each cycle.
These insights extend beyond military lessons; they are universal truths that have guided me through grief, uncertainty, reinvention, and renewal.
If You’re Facing Change…
Whether you’re ending a relationship, starting a new job, pursuing a dream, or simply evolving into a new version of yourself, remember:
Letting go isn’t synonymous with giving up.
Sometimes, it’s the most courageous form of self-trust.
It’s how we remain whole, even amidst life’s constant shifts.
